Tribute to Word Slingers

A Writer's Journey
I answer the call
From my inner voice.
When the muse tickles my ear,
I have no choice,
But to put pen to paper, fingers to keys.


And so, the journey begins
With eyes so bright.
Innocence abounds
As my imagination takes flight.


The masterpiece takes shape
And my mind reaches for the stars.
I envision interviews with Leno
And my prose read in bars.


The book is complete.
I hold it up with trembling hands.
The only thing left
Is for it to find its way to the fans.


I drop queries in the mail
And hope for the best.
My patience and resolve,
Will soon be put to the test.


Still the fantasy remains.
I will be the next big thing.
My fame will surpass
Anne Rice or even Stephen King.


Days, weeks, and months go by
Without so much as a word.
At last, I receive a letter
Address, written in my hand.
It is addressed to dear author
And they're not buying.


Well, what do they know?
Perhaps an agent is what I need.
I answer an ad in a magazine.
They like my work and for a small fee,
I will be published in no time,
Just you wait and see.


They had the speed,
I will give them that.
I had a dozen rejections,
In no time flat.


Don't let it get you down kid,
You've written a best seller.
We just have to find it a home,
Get it in front of the right feller.


Just send me more money
And we will be on our way.
I have a question or two
Before we proceed.
I've read through your list of publishers,
And I have to say,
You, sir, are a hack, a swindler, and a cheat.
If I had more than P.O. Box
With which to find you,
Your ass, I would beat.


My innocence has been replaced
With apprehension.
My sleep is still filled,
With the first timers dreams.
My words will be read
And hearts will be moved,
Emotions will be stirred.
With a single book,
I could change the world.
Someone, somewhere will read my words
And will be inspired to do great things.


I dream of a series of books,
crossing all genres.
I dream of books on CD
And book signings,
With throngs of people waiting
For a signature or at least a glimpse.
I dream of an adoring public
That falls so hard for my characters,
They become a household name.


All of this and more I dream.
No matter what happens,
I will always have my dreams.
My dreams are not goals,
They are fantasies and as such,
They will never be crushed.


I am a slave to the muse,
A whore for her voice.
I am a man that hears voices.
I argue with myself
And put it on paper.
I am a visionary,
A dreamer,
A fiend for the written word.


I am a writer.

Dar-Wednesday

That’s right, it is time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.




(3 June 2009, North Carolina) Greensboro was innundated with four inches of pouring rain in two hours leading to standing water, and stranding cars on several roads. Rosanne Tippett, 50, was not deterred. She hopped on her moped and drove to a convenience store where she possibly had a beer, according to her mother, before deciding to blunder home through the storm. She phoned home to share her intentions, saying, "My moped has two rubber wheels, Mom, I'll be fine."


North Carolina does not require a license to own a moped.
Ms. Tippett had acquired hers two years previously after a DUI conviction.


The Highway Patrol had blocked off several roads that were inundated with water, including Ms. Tippett's path home. But Ms. Tippett rode right past the officer and the barriers, lost control of her vehicle, and fell into the swollen creek below. The officer retrieved rope from his vehicle and proceeded to haul her from the water.


He then interviewed Ms. Tippett, probably inquiring about her motivation for speeding through a roadblock during a flash flood. The officer began to suspect that she had been drinking. When he briefly returned to his patrol car, Ms. Tippett took the opportunity to confirm his suspicions. She escaped--by jumping back into the creek!


The Highway Patrol officer attempted to rescue her again, but alas, it was too late. The victim's mother speculated that her daughter's motivation for jumping into a flooded creek was to rescue her drowning moped. "She loved that thing."

Weekend Recap

As I’m sure you know, Halloween was last weekend. My son went trick or treating and I handed out candy. Here are a few pictures of our costumes:

My son decided to be Jason Voorhees. I thought he did a wonderful job with his costume. I know he scared me. :D










I on the other hand decided to emulate an 80s rocker. My wife said it was scary because it looked like I could play the part a little too well.




After the trick or treating we had a few friends over and played various games. Of course, given my costume we did spend the majority of the time playing Guitar Hero World Tour. It was a hoot.

So how did you celebrate the holiday?

Friday 55

Welcome to Friday 55. The object of the exercise is to write a story using exactly 55 words. If you participate, be sure to drop a comment at G-Man’s blog so others will know how to find your story.


Clouds roll in, a storm on the hunt. It will not rest until it can release its pent up energy. Shadows spread, chewing up streets, marking its territory as the power builds. Darkness rules, the sun turns away, unable to bear witness. With a mighty roar, it unleashes it’s fury, cleansing the world once more.

Book Review: Darkness on the Plains: The Beginning

I am conflicted, downright unsure of everything I previously held as gospel. My world is officially topsy-turvy. You see, I read Darkness on the Plains The Beginning by fellow RP author Jayme Malvagio and I really enjoyed it. Why is that so weird? Because it is an Erotic Paranormal novel. I don’t read erotica. Not that I’m a prude or anything, but when I sit down to read, I want to be thrilled, scared, and/or entranced. There is more than enough sex and sensuality in my life, I don’t need to read about it to boot.

Then I read DOPTB. From the first paragraph this book drew me in. It was intense. It was dark. It was full of wild adventures, death, love, beauty and… vampires. And yes, it was full of sex. The funny thing is, that the sex scenes all seemed to be pertinent to the storyline. The vampire is a sensual creature in the most popular of folklores, but this book merged sex and violence in such a skillful way, I didn’t even blush as I read through M/M/F threesome. It may seem like a strange comment, but of all the odd sexual fantasies out there, this one probably repels me the most. James doesn’t share women and he damn sure doesn’t get into rolling around with other naked men.

When I finished reading the entire story, I realized something rather profound, for me anyways: This is a great book that happens to be erotic.

I recommend this book to fans of, Romance, Horror, Thrillers, Suspense, Mysteries, Erotica and well… anyone who enjoys a good fast-paced read.


Blurb

When Native American myth collides with the world of vampires, the fate o the entire tribe could hang in the balance…

A storm brews in the Indian Territory. Nightfall is coming, and something lurks in the darkness that is as beautiful as it is terrifying. There is a new hunter on the plains and his prey is… human.

Reunited with his people, Kanati has the love of the most beautiful woman he ever met, and is leading the life he always dreamed of, but a chance encounter with a charismatic vampire will launch him down a path wrought with peril and suprises. Will Kanati be able to preserve the life he loves?

Rating: 5 out of 5 Stars

Weekend Recap

Okay, this weekend was as low key as it gets, almost to the point of ridiculous. My wife worked twelve hour days all weekend and my son was grounded. I had no one to play with. So, I decided we should spend Saturday getting a jump on a science project my son has that is due on November 23rd.

He brought home a piece of paper that said “Engineering Project” at the top. I just so happen to know an engineer. My wife, who is a chemist, is usually the self-designated helper with all things science related, but this one clearly fell into my realm.

Friday evening we sat down and discussed the parameters of the project. The gist of which was, build a ping pong ball launcher to launch a ping pong twelve and have it land inside an empty 3lb coffee cup. We put together a Hypothesis and a list of steps needed to carry the launcher from idea to completion.

We developed a rough materials list and though I led him with gentle nudges here and there, he came up with the items needed on his own.

A mousetrap to be the launch mechanism.
A spoon to hold the ball
Duct tape to hold the spoon to the arm of the trap
An angle bracket to keep the trap from closing all the way.
A piece of wire to be able to trigger the trap without having his hands in the way.
A block of wood to stabilize the trap when it is triggered.
Screws and wood glue to hold the trap to the block of wood.
A means to “sight in” the trap for accurate launches into the can.
Paint to decorate it.



Saturday morning, I got up early and worked up a series of parabolic equations to calculate the angle of launch necessary to give the ball the proper trajectory. You see it is not enough that the ball goes twelve feet, but the arc of its path has to be such that it is coming almost straight down when it lands so that when it is used on test day, the height of both tables and the height of the coffee can would not be a factor.

By the time my son was ready to begin construction, I knew what he needed to be done, I just had to figure out how to help him without giving him the answers. It is HIS project after all. You would be surprised (I know I was) at how easy it turned out to be.

I calculated the force exerted by the arm of the trap, the weight of trap and used it to determine the best means of stabilizing the launcher was to attach it to a block of wood. Using a two by four, I determined that we needed about ten inches of the two by four to keep the trap from moving when it was triggered.

I asked my son how big he thought the base should be. He promptly placed a large chunk of wood on our work bench, placed the mousetrap on it and rested the spoon up against the spring. He grabbed a tape measure and looked up at me and said, “We should probably leave an inch up front to put the sights on. He moved the trap back and measured from the end of the wood to the end of the spoon. Guess what… it was just shy of ten inches, so he decided to round up for good measure.

We continued on in this fashion until the entire thing was constructed. My only interference came when I asked if I could set the angle of the restraint used to keep the trap from closing all the way. I set it at “X” angle (I’m not revealing that one in case someone else googles this to do their project).

We prepared to launch and though the trap was vertically stable, it moved from side to side on the table as he tried to pull the trigger. I suggested putting Velcro on the bottom, but my son had a better idea. He grabbed the tip of a broken skateboard deck, used a hacksaw to shorten it to the right length and attached it to the bottom. Worked like a charm.

He was read for his first test launch. We measured out twelve feet, put a coffee cup on one end and the trap at the other. He pulled the trigger and it went right into the center of the coffee can and stayed…

I think he may just get an “A” on this thing and I was shocked at just how little I actually had to help. I wonder if this means my boy is a chip off the ol’ block. I guess time will tell.

So, how was your weekend?

Friday 55

Welcome to Friday 55. The object of the exercise is to write a story using exactly 55 words. If you participate, be sure to drop a comment at G-Man’s blog so others will know how to find your story.




Economy sucks. Jobs are scarce. So why did I quit mine? Timing plays a key. If not now, then when? If not me, then… well, someone else will get all the money for my blood, sweat and tears. Unfortunately, now I have a real asshole for a boss and I have only myself to blame…